Confess The Mess with Johnny and Jess
An authentic and humorous take on Faith, Family, and life.
Confess The Mess with Johnny and Jess
🎙️S3: Ep.8 - Rekindling the Romance Through Faith and Forgiveness
Ever wondered how a simple day at home could turn into an adventure with a blue skink? We certainly didn’t until it happened to us! Join us as we recount the hilarious and mildly terrifying moment we discovered an unexpected reptilian guest in our living room. You’ll meet our spirited children—Liberty, Makenna, Elijah, and Charlotte—and get a taste of the chaos and comedic frustration that ensued. From Liberty’s fearless approach to Makenna preteen drama, our family’s antics will leave you laughing and reminiscing about your own household surprises.
Struggling to find joy in your marriage? You're not alone. Shockingly, 7% of marriages are completely unhappy, especially among women. Discover how to turn things around through effective communication and intentional effort. We unpack the importance of being "one flesh" and prioritizing your spouse amidst the chaos of kids, jobs, and daily life. By drawing on biblical principles, we share practical advice and personal anecdotes on how to reignite the spark in your relationship, making it more fulfilling and joyful.
Faith and forgiveness are the cornerstones of a strong marriage. In our discussion, we delve into how leading your family spiritually and embracing forgiveness can transform your relationship. Inspired by 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we talk about applying love, patience, and kindness in your daily interactions. Whether you're battling the pitfalls of merely coexisting or looking to strengthen your marital bond, tune in for an inspiring conversation that calls for repentance, renewal, and a deeper connection through faith.
Hello and welcome back to Confess the Madness.
Speaker 2:What's up everybody? Sorry, I had to. We are going to do this. We are going to do this in the middle of the day with kids and dogs, and I don't know it's actually not even the middle of the day, it's 7.05 pm.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Well, for us it's in the middle. I mean, kids aren't in bed yet this guy over here.
Speaker 1:You know, they don't know what are we going to do. What are we going to do with this guy? Right?
Speaker 2:now, I don't know. Hey. So something interesting in our home today and I wasn't home to experience it, but apparently there is a blue skink living in our house now.
Speaker 1:Not a skank. No, not a skank.
Speaker 2:I said a skink or a skunk. Good Lord woman.
Speaker 1:You just lost your testimony here on the podcast. This is a marriage and faith podcast. Tune in and hear about christ on the weekly. Sorry, a skink s-k-i and what a name, adam, you know yeah yeah, way to go, adam.
Speaker 2:Sorry, we've had no wine tonight, I promise.
Speaker 1:Can you believe that?
Speaker 2:There is a skink in our house. It's a lizard, all right. Whatever the thing is.
Speaker 1:He's not talking about me, I swear Gosh. So let me tell the story, since this man was at work today. So I'm upstairs doing laundry, like the good Cinderella wife that I am.
Speaker 2:Way to go.
Speaker 1:Because I had not done it for about four days.
Speaker 2:Get to work, woman.
Speaker 1:So you know, doing that Proverbs 31 thing, you know, come on, girl. So the kids, right, the littles, that would be Charlotte. And for the record, friends, we have a six-year-old named Charlotte, we have an eight-year-old named Elijah, we've got an 11-year-old named Liberty and an almost 13-year-old named McKenna. So if you didn't already know that, there you go.
Speaker 2:Now you literally know what our kids are.
Speaker 1:If you don't know, now you know. If you don't know, now you know. So here comes Charbar and Elijah Run upstairs house and I'm like what? I'm like what? And immediately I pop over the hallway to our second oldest daughter because she has a leopard gecko and I didn't even have to go downstairs. I was like liberty, there is a lizard in the house and you're getting it.
Speaker 1:And she's like okay, mom, because she's the kid. That's like mom, guess what? There was a random this in the bathroom and I put it in this and I I'm putting it outside. Or, mom, I picked up. It's like she's bizarre, this kid, like she literally could have probably lived in the garden with adam and eve and just like held all the things she loves animals. So we go downstairs after I um was terrified because I don't do bugs, I don't do living things that are not supposed to be in my house, like this isn't my jam. This is taking me back to some ptsd of last august when we were at north myrtle beach and johnny left the freaking door open to our house. We're staying in the invasion of the tree frogs there's like four of them.
Speaker 1:They like live with us for the week and we couldn't find them terrible, terrible and terrifying. They're great hiders. So we come downstairs and, sure enough, by my palm tree, which her name is, francesca um franny's just sitting there and minding her business and here comes little black, like three or four inch. They call it a blue stink. But homie looked like he was like a dark midnight black and goes running behind the tv and I was like no, ma'am, no ma'am went upstairs and I was like that is not happening. I'm texting johnny and I'm like listen, bro. He'm like we have got to figure this out because your girl ain't doing this. I will. I've raised your four kids, I've cleaned up puke, I've wiped butts, I've dealt with diarrhea, I've breastfed.
Speaker 2:I am not doing this she texted me like like, from 15 miles away, I'm gonna magically make this thing disappear. So I get home, yep, and I hold on a minute.
Speaker 1:No, no backtrack, because he was like tell liberty to get the stick out of the garage and and and have the girls, aka mckenna and liberty are too old, this take care of it. I'm like, sure I, I go into mckenna's room my oldest, and you know how she is, she's a preteen, her room's already half the time and she wants to be on ps4 constantly. So she's on fortnite, schooling most all the dudes, because she's, she's, she's a baddie. So I'm like, kenna, you finish this match, finish schooling these boys real quick. And then you and liberty, you about to do some work. What, what do we got to do?
Speaker 1:Mom, I'm like you're about to go kill a black lizard that's in my living room and she's like all right, like it was no big deal. I've been over here like stressed out, like I'm not even going down there, like Charlotte's terrified she didn't want to have any food down there, like nobody wants to go downstairs. Meanwhile, the dogs are in the kennel and I'm hoping and praying to God, literally, that the little lizard would just go into the kennels and the dogs could eat it. They went down there, could not find it anywhere. So then Johnny gets home finally from work and I'll let you go ahead and go your turn, so I go.
Speaker 2:I come in. It's a ghost town downstairs. Nobody's down there. Normally there's somebody down there to greet me, so I walked through the door.
Speaker 1:Yeah, usually you're like being bombarded. Honey, I'm home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no one's there, nope, and it's quiet. I go upstairs. Everyone's huddled in the corner, terrified. So I go back down. The living room is in disarray. There's like bowls down there. There's sticks down there, like there was an attempt to capture this thing. That was unsuccessful. So I did a giant downstairs manhunt and long story short y'all. He didn't find it. The blue skink is still in our home. It is now one of it's now a Crossman. It is not, it has not left the building.
Speaker 1:Now our awesome ai that we've been using because it's awesome, by the way. So if you're like reading our description, like man, jessica and johnny really up their description game in there no, that's what I did ai and the ai is now gonna call this podcast episode something to do with a blue stink, so probably that's what.
Speaker 2:That's what's gonna happen, yeah. So here we are. Forgive us. We yeah, we have not written our own podcast description in like six or seven episodes praise to the lord.
Speaker 1:It's cool man you like, you've uploaded, and then the ai just like does all the work for you. He does which is he does so different note before we get started. Your girl has been working out on a treadmill. My husband is currently playing with the baseball. Put that thing down. You're not playing with that during this.
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 1:You are literally bouncing the baseball off the couch next to me. It helps me think and I have ADD. It helps me think so how are we going to get through this?
Speaker 1:It helps my brain to brain Somebody give this guy a fidget spinner or something. So yeah, I have been getting on that gym, doing that treadmill thing. Girls lost three pounds this week. I have high blood pressure, I'm a stage two hypertension and I just overcame being borderline diabetic. So your girl's like feeling it. So we've been like really trying to be good and healthy and all that sort of stuff. I thought I would just tell a little bit more about our life, because we get on here and we talk about things. We have topics, which is great, but I wanted you to kind of get to know j mama a little bit more you know and you know me, yesterday I came home and mowed the grass he did so he almost died.
Speaker 2:So you know a little bit more about me. Okay, I mowed at 95 degrees at four in the afternoon in north carolina, which we're from arizona, and you can't grow grass there.
Speaker 1:Usually people buy the fake stuff. We could never afford the fake grass, so we would just go to walmart and buy the backyard, like you know, grass carpet that dogs pee on yeah and we would.
Speaker 1:We'd use nails to nail that down into our uh gravel. So, uh, here I go to drop the girls off because they had a youth party for our church at a pool party at a local friend's house and I went and dropped the girls off at one of our buddy's houses, hasha let's say what up, cameron, cameron, what up Cammie, at his house. And on the way back I come home and I can hear the kids screaming as I'm walking, like walking up the front door, and I'm like are you kidding me? Here's elijah, our eight-year-old, and charlotte, our six-year-old, running around the house with our seven-month-old, almost 50 pound husky labrador retriever. And here's elijah. Dad says he's gonna die and I'm like what? And I go outside and I see johnny, like he's shirt soaking wet and he's got his Cardinals like big old, like hay hat on.
Speaker 1:I may have been a little bit dramatic in the moment, but it was hot and he left an entire patch and did not do it because we have a peach tree and they're dropping on the ground and it's being covered by all these flying, stabbing bugs there's about 400. So he left this massive plethora of grass outside, we'll get to it. I've got all weekend.
Speaker 2:That's what's going on with our life right now. Anyway, enough about our madness. Yeah, I mean, we have a billion of those stories.
Speaker 1:We could have like a TV reality show.
Speaker 2:Man, let's talk about marriage.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about marriage, baby yeah yeah, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2:You trying to take my water Specifically. I didn't even look at your water.
Speaker 1:I thought you were reaching for my water. No, I'm playing the baseball All right.
Speaker 2:So what we want to talk about is something that I can't prove statistically, but I'm willing to bet is somewhat of an epidemic, at least in this country. Okay, judging based off our conversations with other married couples, we have friends like this. There's this, in my opinion, epidemic of this just coexisting marriages. They occupy the same space, they breathe the same oxygen, but they are not enjoying their marriage. In fact, a statistic I just looked up from Kairos, an article. They talk about how 7%, roughly 7%, of marriages are completely and utterly unhappy. And you might not think that's a lot 7% but that's 7 out of 100 couples that you encounter. How many couples do you encounter today? You're going to encounter at least one that's living in this context, where they don't enjoy their marriage.
Speaker 2:They're just stuck. They're in it for the kids, or staying for the kids, or they don't know how to get out, or or financially they can't just leave, or or whatever. And so that's what I want to talk about is, like man, what does it, what does it look like to flip the switch on that and not just coexist? Because I think Jessica and I do a really good job of not just coexisting in our home. We're very intentional about just trying to find joy in our marriage and enjoying the things that one another enjoys Well, this is definitely a strong area for us.
Speaker 1:I would say it's a strong area for us. We don't have a lot like. Not every area in our marriage is like as strong as the next one, but this one's definitely a stronger one because, um and that probably falls on the fact that I am a communicator I aren't all women communicators communicate?
Speaker 1:no, they aren't. Actually, I know a lot of women that don't say anything, that I'll just you know. They'll just keep their mouths closed and not say anything and they just that's how they coexist by not speaking what they truly believe in their heart. And then that's a downfall for you as the woman, because you're being overseen, but it's also a downfall for your spouse, because he doesn't know what he doesn't know Right? So if you're not communicating how you feel, then that's a bad on you and a bad on your spouse and a bad on God.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and interesting that you said that coming from the female perspective, because of those 7% I think it was 70% of the 7% of those couples, it's reported by the woman that they're the ones that are the most unhappy in the marriage.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's probably because we have a very high expectation. Yeah, but God made us that way and we have to have high expectations because I think a lot of the time, men are very content being content.
Speaker 2:I think we're very we're definitely more easily content.
Speaker 1:You can be content for longer periods of time in certain ways, and then there's other ways you're not content, like you would like to have sex on a more regular basis, but you're more content with maybe not having to like get up and go on dates as often and like things where women because deep down inside women we want to be, wine and dine, of course, like we already feel. Most of us already feel very insecure or less beautiful after we've had children, because we've been, our boobs have been poked and prodded at it for with babies and our body's been stretched in places. I don't even want to admit, and you know we don't feel as beautiful anymore, maybe as sexy as we once did. Um, so you know, maybe, maybe sex isn't just, it's just having sex isn't enough, like we need to be pursued. We like, like the. There's that saying that you guys are like a frying pan and we're like a crock pot a crock pot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I would. I would even say you're like an instapot, maybe I don't know, or maybe an air fryer. You can cook a, you can.
Speaker 2:I cooked a pork chop last night in 10 minutes I think, I think honestly, we could probably go raw, yeah, but but I but I think, I think it's because women, we just we need more yeah. And that's just how we're made.
Speaker 1:And if there's a woman listening right now they're like I don't need more, Then that tells me that you are really miserable in your marriage. If you don't even want more from your spouse where you're like please keep him away, Keep him at work, Keep him at his buddies, Keep him, Then that's a problem Like that should be a red flag for you right now. Because God created, he said let man leave his mother and father and be one with his wife.
Speaker 2:That's the verse I was just going to go for Really Genesis 2, 24, but King James though. Okay, have it, therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh Cleave. And we just went through a marriage class that we led and that's a word that was used is cleave. Those words were cool man cleave. I love that imagery, but it's so much more than just hanging out together.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent.
Speaker 2:Now you are of one flesh, you are cleaved together. To cleave means to be joined and that means, like man, you know, your spouse's losses are your losses. Your spouse's victories are your victories. The things that your spouse enjoy, you're going to attempt to enjoy, and vice versa, because you are now one flesh. You know, and I think so frequently we just forget that we made the vow and then we lived a couple of years together in a home, popped out a couple of kids, and now the kids are the priority, and the finances are the priority, and the boat on the weekend is a priority. And before you know it, man, you've forgotten that the priority is Jesus and with that comes the priority of your marriage.
Speaker 1:When you said you were going to be cleaved, to your wife, to their husbands, you know, and vice versa, you know, and it's we are so made so differently, which I think is so beautiful, because God created two such different people, because there's no room for being bored. Yeah, like like adam, he's like homie. You can't be alone, bro. Like we need to get you somebody. Let's put you to sleep real quick, brother makes you wonder what was, what was he doing?
Speaker 1:you know, I'm saying like god noticed he's all chasing animals like it's not good for this, he's all talking to a tree god's like it's not good this guy is not gonna be okay. Somebody get him a helper. Adam, what are you doing in the garden, bro? I always make jokes. It's not good they're like. This guy is not going to be okay.
Speaker 2:Somebody get him a helper. Adam, what are you doing in the garden, bro? I always make jokes.
Speaker 1:It's like my inside joke all the time. I say to church because I'm just like that, I'm just like and I have it on my social media not your average pastor's wife, because I am not your average pastor's wife, I'm just not. I wasn't brought up in the church but I love, I love being like man and this is why God said don't let man be alone. He needs a helper. Because if you ever, you know, okay, if you've ever seen it so my husband and our best buddy brought up my they brought up my treadmill upstairs from our, from the house, and there is a massive hole in the wall going up the staircase and it was one of those things where I was on the bottom and I saw it happening. I'm like listen, this, we're here. You know, I'm saying we're already here, so so there's a massive hole in the wall.
Speaker 2:You would think somebody got like lit party, like a frat house it looks like someone took a sledgehammer and just punched right on the wall and so these are two men amazing men Love my husband and love our buddy, but this happened under the watch of two gentlemen.
Speaker 1:It was out of our control and then we tried for like three hours to try to fit it in our 2,000 build house that we're living in and I don't know what it is about the older homes, but the contractors were like you know what we? Must have been smaller people smaller let's make some hobbit doors.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wish who's entering through these doors.
Speaker 1:But anywho, long story short of it, all you know it's not good for man to be alone and boys, if you're listening, it's true like, let the boys be boys.
Speaker 2:We, we, you know, we are very capable and we're very intelligent. 100 and you're their provider, you're providers and protectors and leaders, but your, your spouse, is there to, to take care of and fill in the holes that you have, and you have a lot.
Speaker 1:Gentlemen, let me just tell you I was just thinking as we were talking about this when I just said spiritual leader, and I think sometimes that could happen in your marriages where there's coexisting, because maybe the woman, the mother, is like trying to be the spiritual leader and taking the kids to church and being that leader of the family when the husband needs to be doing that, because that is biblical, it's biblical.
Speaker 1:If you're listening to this, your spouse, your husband, is biblically supposed to be leading your family and you know that could be a cause for coexistence, because you have a little bit of the root of bitterness and you're frustrated because we weren't meant to do that Women, like we weren't meant mamas to actually, I mean, we can still listen. I spiritually live my kids every day, but when my man is home, my man is home and he's leading us and he's leading us from afar and he's setting the example. I'm a type A personality. I'm an Enneagram three, he's a seven. Sometimes he slips through holes, not because he didn't want to be there or do it, because I'm just so crazy uptight and he knows that, you know. But but, but that could be a part of the coexisting in a marriage, especially a biblical marriage is the frustrations that a woman could have because her husband is not spiritually leading their family.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no doubt, no doubt, it's so important and you need to be equally yoked.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:You know we talked about this in a previous podcast where I can't even imagine the difficulties that must face a household where one spouse is chasing after Jesus and the other is not. I don't even. I have no idea how you manage that. I don't know how you remedy that man. We're praying for that for your marriage.
Speaker 2:if that's you, man, I can't imagine it's got to be really difficult. And just to prove what God thinks about us men having a wife in Proverbs 18, 22, it says he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Check that out.
Speaker 1:What's it say about the leaky roof, when the wife is nagging.
Speaker 2:Proverbs has a lot to say about nagging.
Speaker 1:He does, doesn't he? He was an angry little thing. Well, solomon had like 100 wives, man, he's got some naggy broads.
Speaker 2:Well, you can't keep all them women happy man, because you weren't supposed to have that many brother no, you weren't, but man. So really the point of this wasn't to point a finger at anybody else's stuff, right, but I think that this is a strong suit for Jess and I, and what are some things that can help any couples who might be dealing with man? I'm not feeling the joy that I should be feeling in this marriage. We don't exist together, we coexist.
Speaker 1:Okay, sharing a space, but we're not enjoying life together.
Speaker 2:What, what, what kind of advice can we give?
Speaker 1:What is your daily routine look like? What are you doing every day to pursue your spouse, whether it be male or female, husband or wife? Are you praying together? Are you prioritizing scripture? Are you listening to her? Are you hearing him? Are you serving one another? Do you know? Because listen okay johnny and I are not equally yoked in the area of the exact things he loves, like in the exact things I love. We're not like. I love a good British show. I want to sit on my bed and crochet and do that alone. That's like my recharge. I recharge alone. Johnny loves to relax, watch UFC, which I don't mind.
Speaker 2:I should watch that too. I should like UFC.
Speaker 1:I have to watch myself because I have a testimony now I have to follow. I'm a follower of Jesus and I got to check my heart.
Speaker 2:This woman gets all kinds of work, crazy fights, man you don't want to take me.
Speaker 1:Me and Trump will be sitting side by side. Let's go, no. But in all seriousness, like you know you, coexisting happens more often, and I saw that growing up too. So you have to, you have to and we've talked about this before your kids can't be your number one. I think that's a part of the stumbling block of coexisting. You hide behind your children. You're like, oh, I don't have to go do that or I'm not going to go to bed tonight with him because my kids need me.
Speaker 2:As long as I have my kids with me, I don't have to do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we use them and that I feel like could be. I don't know if there's a scripture on that, but that could be a whole big old sin, because you're letting the gift that God has given you to be the dividing factor of you and your husband coming together and being cleaved to one another, yeah. Like are you? Are you just getting up every morning and living your life Like you were? Like you were, like you literally, your husband could leave or your wife could leave, and it wouldn't make a difference of your everyday activities.
Speaker 2:You know what it is, what I feel? That in this day and age, I feel like marriages are having a really difficult time choosing one another. I'm looking at, so we have a sign above our bed that Jessica ordered just a long time ago hashtag small woods, small woods Instagram, but says it's a little pricey but you get a good sale and it's and it's a reminder, and it's something that Jessica and I we we intentionally do this.
Speaker 2:It says I choose you and I'll choose you over and over and over, without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you, and it sounds cheesy, but the reality is it's that man. Not only do I need to wake up and roll out of bed, and I need to choose Jesus today, I need to choose Jess today, but he wants you to choose me because he put us together, and that's what. I'm saying and he wants me to choose you, yeah.
Speaker 1:Even in the ugly moments, yeah, even in the moments where you do not want to coexist with him, you want to knock him out knock them out and we, we have those. Probably you want to knock me out her, more than me, probably, but that's abuse. No, but in all seriousness, like you know it's. It's a choice. It's a choice. That's why, like I don't want to hear the word happy. Are you in a happily married? Are you in a happy marriage? I'm feeling so. I'm not feeling happy. You're not happy.
Speaker 1:Happy, happy is not important get that word out of your vocabulary, out of your thought process. That's trash. We don't care about happiness. Jesus don't care about your happiness. He cares about your joy. But your joy does not come from the things of this world, it comes from him. Your marriage is, it comes from Jesus. That was the whole foundation of marriage.
Speaker 2:Man and woman, and so and you make a good point it's not a happy marriage. It is a joy-filled marriage. Yes, because you know, when you have a joy-filled marriage and you choose each other every day and you're not coexisting, you are cleaved together. Hard things come and they will come. They are coming, man. Stressful things you lost your job how are you going to pay the bills? Someone died. Stressful things you lost your job how are you going to pay the bills? Someone died any number of things that you have gone through, man. You can get through them with joy.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:In the valley, when you are cleaved to one another, when you choose one another, when you're not just coexisting but you're saying, man, I intentionally, am going to pursue my wife and she's going to intentionally pursue me and I'm going to intentionally serve her and she's going to intentionally pursue me and I'm going to intentionally serve her and she's going to intentionally serve me and we're going to find joy together, before the kids, before the kids, before the kids. Your marriage comes before your kids.
Speaker 1:He gets home and our kids, they love their dad, daddy Blah, blah, blah blah. But the dogs are all blah, blah, blah. Je no, I don't care, I want them to get them out of my hair. Bro, get them all right out of there. And I and I say, listen, daddy's not talking to you. He's coming up to the bedroom for 10 minutes. We're locking the door, do not knock on the door, do not say a word. He is giving me his first 10 minutes and we're going to just we're going to go over the day and we're going to talk about things and we're gonna make sure we're doing all right and everything's okay and he's okay, and we're gonna talk about our life for that 10 minutes because we matter more than they do yeah, because we do.
Speaker 2:If we're not sound, if we're not cleaved together, they're gonna see the cracks and the fissures in our marriage. Kids aren't stupid. They're gonna notice. Oh, mom and dad aren't spending time together. Mom and dad haven't laughed together. Oh, mom and dad used to dance and kiss in the kitchen they they don't do that anymore. Oh, mom and dad used to chase each other and have fun and laugh. They don't do that. They notice these things.
Speaker 1:Oh they do. He says all kinds of sexual comments towards me and how hot I am, or smacked my butt and Liberty's like seriously, guys. I'm like yeah, I said hey, when your parents aren't doing, then you need to be worried If you don't see your dad and I wanting to go on dates, which we need to do that more since we moved Any babysitters out there, that's okay.
Speaker 1:Tomorrow we're going to go have coffee together, but we're you know, we used to be really good about dating when they were in public, but now we're homeschooled and things change. But you've got to work with what you got. We do in-home date nights every Monday and we and and it may sound cheesy, but we intentionally have fun together.
Speaker 2:We we're in this like bracket thing?
Speaker 1:yeah, I'm schooling him too she's up like 30 points but there's like 7 000 but the point is.
Speaker 2:We've added these things to our night to to laugh together, to have conversation all the things that you do, you did before you guys had kids. Imagine that you married that person for a reason. Right, that person's still that person, yes, so so how do you get back?
Speaker 1:but you're better.
Speaker 2:You're better than when we first met but I think you're better, I have evolved and I've learned, but but that comes with wisdom.
Speaker 1:Well, and even like I, our our relationship's better.
Speaker 2:Of course, it is like I would never want to go back to the beginning it was hard and confusing and trying to figure it out and no and, and and honestly and, honestly, you know those of you in marriages where you've been married a long time and maybe you're like man I wish he or she was like they used to be. The fact is, you'll never get that person back because that person has grown, changed. But here's here's the great thing about marriage you get to grow and change together, knowing that there's certain things as we get older in our marriages, we know that. Okay, well, jess is going to start liking this. Be into this a little bit more than me, or vice versa. We don't always have to do every single thing together, yeah, so no, and that's the first thing you need to think about too.
Speaker 1:Like I mean, obviously you should want to be with your spouse and there's going to be things, and that's why you have to love all of your spouse. You don't have to like everything that they are, that they do, like there's going to be things that are going to bother you because they're not you and they're not wired like you, and that's the beauty of it. But that's also what helps you to have to get into scripture and be more like Jesus, with a servant heart, and be forgiving of things that are petty and not worth being upset about. Like we are such a selfish culture. We are so self-centered Everything's about ourself.
Speaker 2:Well, when our society tells us that that's what we need to look out for Number one, happiness. Right, we just talked about this term, happiness, and again that's what's peddled on TV and movies and commercials You'll be happy if you buy this thing. You'll be happy if you do this thing. You'll be happy if you come here. You'll be happy if you do that. You'll be happy if you eat this. Even the song Pharrell, you know because I'm happy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that one, yeah, yeah, but I mean even the music yeah right, but it's teaching us that, man, if, as long as I find something that gives me some temporary happiness, that's what I'm gonna chase until I get tired of that thing, and then I'm chasing the next thing, and the next thing. It's a never ending hamster wheel, that that you're never gonna get off of until you decide to choose Jesus, find joy and then find joy in your marriage. I can't imagine another person on earth who I would rather do this journey with than my wife, because, man, we have fun, we have joy.
Speaker 1:But you know what the center of that is? The center of that is Jesus. I honestly do not know if we would be married if we did not find christ yeah I mean because I don't know how people do it without him.
Speaker 1:No, like we're like and and listen. I ain't perfect and I make a mistake every day, multiple times a day, but I know that I have learned by reading the word of god of who j Jesus is and how he forgave and the things he. He just looked past, I mean even down to the sinner on the cross next to him. Like you are already forgiven, bro, like I will see you in paradise today. Like what if we had that kind of a mind frame when it came to our spouses and our coexistence? And there's somebody listening right now because I just got the chills. There's somebody listening right now that is coexisting in their marriage. You have been coexisting for so long that you didn't even realize until you listened to this podcast right now that that is how you've been living and, my friend, it's time to repent it is it?
Speaker 1:is.
Speaker 2:It's time we're going to wrap this up here. In a minute I'm going to lay down some words from Paul 1 Corinthians 13, 4-7. You know them, even if you don't go to church. You know these words, but I want you to think about these words and I want you to think about if you're practicing this. Love is patient.
Speaker 1:This was in our ceremony vows, before we even followed Jesus. It's in everybody's ceremony vows.
Speaker 2:That's right. Love is patient. Are you patient? And it's okay to pray for that. By the way, Apply these words to your marriage right now. I want you to think about it. Love is patient. Are you patient with your spouse in your marriage? Are you patient? Do you give them space to work things out and resolve things?
Speaker 1:Not always.
Speaker 2:Love is kind. Are you kind with your words when you are arguing? Are you using harsh words or unkind words to belittle them and make them feel a certain way? Love does not envy or boast Right. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Man, we're not going to get this all right. We're not. There's no such thing as a perfect marriage.
Speaker 1:Not even close.
Speaker 2:And Jess and I, we love our marriage. We think we have a phenomenal marriage. We are a long way from where we want to be. Oh, 100% and we work, though it's work y'all. It's work, but it's worth it.
Speaker 1:But I think the core ingredient is that we're both running. Not only are we both running after Jesus in our home, but we're running after Jesus in our ministry.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like. We are the body of Christ, we are the church. Johnny is a pastor and we pursue outside of these walls and inside of these walls and that is what has kept us going strong and total. Side note I just was thinking because I'm one of the verses there. Ladies, I'm going to talk to you right now, being in women's ministries at many different churches. Please do not talk about your husband in a negative way in front of your friends. Please do not do that. About your husband in a negative way in front of your friends. Please do not do that. I have seen more women than I want to admit talk badly about their man to other women in the church body and that is disgusting. We are called to build our husbands up and if there is an issue with you and your spouse in your marriage, you take that to your man.
Speaker 2:You're tearing your marriage down. Don't take that.
Speaker 1:And then you're letting the enemy know exactly what the problem is. And guess what he's going to do? He is going to continue to put a finger in the wound and he's going to keep digging and digging and digging. Because what does the enemy want to do with marriage? He wants to divide and he wants to conquer your marriage for him.
Speaker 2:And then he wants to use the person at the table who you just gossiped to with about your husband to speak the wrong things into your life and before you know it, you've got this resentment and you're going to go home, and not only are you breaking apart your marriage, but you're gossiping and and Satan is going to use the friends around you, and it's not going to help coexisting at all.
Speaker 2:Man, it's just. It's a. It's a nasty, slippery. Satan is going to use the friends around you, and it's not going to help coexisting at all.
Speaker 1:Man, it's a nasty slippery slope. I wasn't even going to talk about that. But when you were reading the scripture I was like let me just bring this up Because it's happened more times than not. And let me tell you what even if I have frustration at times with Johnny, because I'm human and so is he, you ain't to go to that person specifically, and that means your marriage. So before you go tell on your friend, listen wise counsel. I get it. But if your husband does not know what it is that's going on and you're taking it to somebody else before you taking it to your man, that's not okay. We can't do that. We can't do that yeah, we have to.
Speaker 1:We have to speak life over. Our spouse believe, and I want to. I want to encourage you to watch war room. Is it called war room?
Speaker 2:which one uh, yeah, look it up oh yeah, yeah, is it called war room yeah, talking about prayers in the going pray in the closet yep, watch it.
Speaker 1:Watch it because if, if something is happening in your marriage and you don't know what else to do or where to turn to, you turn to God. Turn to God in prayer. But you got to change your heart though. Yeah, you got to, you got to. You know. I don't know what your game plan is for the next few weeks on our podcast, but I feel like we need to jump into a relationship series. I feel like we need to talk on like singleness and what it looks like, sure, single or prior to in a relationship, prior to to marriage, and like friendships and just different things, just relationships. Sure, like a relationship series. Sure, yeah, I don't know, I mean whatever.
Speaker 1:I mean, I'm calling you out right now on our podcast, so Sure, yeah, I don't know I mean whatever I mean.
Speaker 2:I'm calling you out right now on our podcast. This is like behind the scenes. The mics are still on, babe. It's not over. It's not over. Sometimes she can't control the thoughts that pop into her. I just say things, they just come right out.
Speaker 1:I'm just so raw and vulnerable. But, yeah, this is a really good one. I'm glad we brought this topic up. I think it's a really important one and, as always, if you guys have any questions or concerns or you need prayer there on Buzzsprout, which is what we do this through you can actually text us, which is super freaking cool or you can email us and it'll be in the description below. Um, but we're here. We're here for y'all. This is part of our ministry. I ministry I mean we we take time away from our own family to pour into this podcast, so we don't. It means a lot to us, so we would love, obviously, your feedback. We would love for you to share this podcast. We'd love you even more to rate it. That would be great too. Um, just because it tells all the places that are pushing out our podcast, whether you like it or not yeah, I'm going to be real here.
Speaker 2:Give us a five star. Well, no, no, I don't know, give us any star. Maybe give us a one star after what I'm going to say. But I mean, you listen to the podcast. Yeah, it literally takes you about 25 seconds of your time to go rate us or share us or whatever. If you thought it was horrible, go ahead and rate us a horrible. If you thought it was great, rate is great. But my point is do something.
Speaker 1:We want to. Well, and the thing is, we want a community on here. Okay, we don't want to just be wordsmiths, we don't want to just say things and speak into wherever, like if we're making a difference or we're not, tell us. We would love to have feedback. We may or may not change what you have to say, that's okay, but I mean, we still want to hear it you know. I mean because we know who's listening, like where you're located, all those sorts of things, your exact address we know you're listening technology's great no um all right, we're gonna pray this out, because the kids are gonna lose their kool-aid shortly.
Speaker 1:We're running out of time. Yeah, all right I right, I'm going to pray, pray us out.
Speaker 2:Hold my hand, baby, all right Come on girl, hold my hand baby.
Speaker 2:Father, we just thank you. We thank you for this space, we thank you for all those listening. We thank you specifically for marriages. Tonight, father, I pray a blessing over all the marriages that are listening to this Lord, for those that are hurting, for those that feel lost, for those who are just to this Lord, for those that are hurting, for those that feel lost, for those who are just coexisting, who don't have joy in their marriage.
Speaker 2:Father, we pray that you would do something divinely supernatural in their marriages, father, that you would ignite a spark within them that would cause them to recognize that they not only need to choose you every day, but they need to choose each other every day. That they would, with reckless abandon, chase after their Lord and Savior and, in turn, with reckless abandon, chase after their spouse. Father, yes, jesus, get to know them, have joy, spend time, have fun together, reignite whatever is missing. Father, we pray for passion and enjoyment in their lives. Father, we pray that they are able to put one another first, even in front of the kids, and that's not easy to do, because we love our children so very much and you've entrusted us with our children, but those are your children, father.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we're to leave our mother and father and be cleaved to the person that we've said yes to in marriage. So, father, I pray for cleaving in all these marriages, lord, that they would be joined together in a bond so strong that it is unbreakable and unshakable. Father, we pray that you do this to all those that are listening. Father, we thank you again for this space. We pray a blessing over all that who are listening to this. Jesus, we love you. It's in your holy and precious name that we pray.
Speaker 1:Amen.
Speaker 2:All name. We pray Amen. All right friends, until next time. All right guys, have a great rest of your week. We'll talk to you next week. Bye-bye.